Journal Entry: 3/1/16 - 01:49
Moving is great. It means a new chapter. It’s means growth. It means new experiences you’ve yet to encounter that will change and shape your being. Moving also means lots of pangs of nostalgia. As I rid myself of surplus belongings from my childhood home in preparation for my move tomorrow, I came across a lot of really wonderful old photographs of me and my best friends Im lucky enough to still have tight bonds with today. We were all the lone wolves that banned together to get through the treacherous normalcy of suburbia. We loved each other. We supported each other, in all of our quirkiness. Without these friends, I surely wouldn’t be who I am today. It’s hard to have a group of people you love so dearly and want in your life on a daily basis, but have an inherent sense of wandering that doesn’t keep you planted in one place for long. You miss out on memories, you miss out celebrations of life, and when you come back you’re sometimes confronted with news that didn’t quite make it out to your shores, and it can break your heart. This is my friend Jeff and I in 7th grade wood shop class (bottom) and roaming the halls our sophomore year (top). Jeff had a major impact on my life. I spent everyday in shop class with him sharing music, which mainly revolved around him exposing me to a lot of the music I grew to love immensely. After school we’d walk home with two of my childhood best friends and I would sit for hours listening to them play music at my friends childhood home. To this day, these were some of my favorite times spent with my friends. They were beautiful and unique and I feel so lucky to have had them. On a visit home for Christmas, I was informed Jeff had taken his life some months before and I had been in the dark about due to my lack of presence back home. It’s taken me a very long time to digest my emotions, and I went through a lot of internal battles with feeling like I wasn’t a great enough friend since we had both moved to new places. How I could have been more of a support system. So many “what ifs” but those notions don’t change a thing. Time digesting and understanding this heartbreaking event, the loss of a friend, makes me realize how important it is to wear your love on your sleeve and celebrate the importance of the beautiful people in your life. I’m so thankful I had the privilege of calling Jeff my friend. I will forever remember his impact in my life, and always turn Mudhoney up a little louder when it starts streaming on my playlist. Love you so dearly, my friend. I’ll be seeing you again.
